Who is named as host
Traditionally whoever pays for the wedding hosts it and is named first. Today most couples contribute, so “Together with their families” or the couple's own names is the usual choice. Naming both sets of parents is a gracious way to honour everyone when both families have helped.
Divorced parents are listed on separate lines; remarried parents may include their spouses. A deceased parent can be honoured with “the late” in the couple's lines, though they are not named as hosts.
Plus-ones and children
Only the names on the envelope are invited. Common practice is to offer a plus-one to anyone who is married, engaged or living with a partner, and to members of the wedding party. If a single guest may bring someone, write “and Guest” or, better, the partner's name.
An adults-only wedding is communicated by naming only adults on the envelope and reserving a set number of seats on the response card. Some couples add a gentle line on the wedding website. Printing “No children” on the invitation itself is considered blunt.
What doesn't go on the invitation
Registry information: the invitation is about the event, not gifts. Put the registry on your website, where guests expect it. Also avoid requests for cash, a cash bar notice, and “Adults only” in bold. Dress codes are fine, in the lower right corner or on a details card.
Timing
Save the dates go out six to eight months ahead (eight to twelve for destination weddings). Invitations go out six to eight weeks ahead (ten to twelve for destination weddings), with an RSVP date three to four weeks before the day. Our timeline calculator works the dates out from your wedding day.
Handling RSVPs
Guests should reply by the date on the card. When they don't, a friendly message a few days after the deadline is correct and expected. If someone replies for more people than were invited, call or message them privately: explain kindly that numbers are limited and the invitation was for the named guests.
If a guest declines, don't pass their seat on to someone else from the same household. A B-list is fine as long as the second-wave invitations go out at least six weeks before the day.
Is a digital invitation acceptable?
For birthdays, showers and casual parties, yes, and most are now sent by text or messaging apps. For a wedding, a printed invitation remains the traditional choice, especially for older relatives, but digital invitations and QR code RSVPs are increasingly common and not considered rude. A good compromise is to mail printed invitations to those who'd value them and send the same design digitally to everyone else.
Quick check: invited or not?
Etiquette's golden rule for invitations is that the envelope is the guest list. Tap each envelope to see who is actually invited.